Misfit Holidays
by Theodore Hawkwood
Summary: The Misfits, Joes, X-men, Charmed Ones and Incredibles celebrate Christmas in their own special way.


Misfit Holidays

Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe or X-men Evolution.

Summary: The Misfits celebrate Christmas together with the X-men and Charmed Ones at the Xavier Institute.

---

"Will you two stop canoodling." Roadblock said to Ted and Paige as the couple kissed underneath the mistletoe.

"Sorry Roadblock," Paige said, "We were under the mistletoe."

"You can't mess with that holiday tradition." Ted replied.

"Woo woo woo woo woo!" Klondike said as brushed up against Ted and Paige's legs.

"Tabitha please stop that doodling!" Scott said.

"It's not doodling, it's decorating." Tabitha said as she continued to draw a Nativity Scene.

"Hey, this Nativity thing is kinda cool." Blob said as he drew the other half.

"Blob." Ted replied, "Love the creative license but I don't think that the three wise men gave gifts of egg nog, turkey, and ham."

"Maybe if you and Paige weren't making out." Roadblock said, "Blob's drawing would not have gone that route."

"Hmm, I don't think that dinosaurs were among the animals in the manger either." Ted replied.

"Woo woo woo woo woo." Klondike began.

"No Klondike," Paige replied, "I'm sure Huskies weren't at the Nativity either."

"Woo woo woo woo woo!" Klondike wooed back.

"MEOW!" Prometheus the cat screamed as Polly and Lockheed chased him down the hallway.

Klondike joined the pursuit, wooing and barking.

"OW! OW! OW!" Bobby screamed as Amara was beating the daylights out of him.

"That's for that panty raid you pervert!" Amara shouted.

"Mercy! Mercy! AUGH!" Bobby shouted.

"THIS IS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY! NOT BEAT ON EACH OTHER!! OW!" Scott screamed as Amara shifted to her magma form while he was trying to pry her off Iceman.

Ted took the opportunity to take Paige into the next room. "Ted, we can't just duck out on all this."

"Paige. I have something important to tell you." Ted replied.

Through their emphatic bond Paige could feel the roiling emotion. It wasn't quite like the turmoil when she would hold him after he'd wake with nightmares about some secret YAMAS missions he couldn't tell her about. It had an odd mix of pleasure, fear, and love.

"Paige. Remember last Christmas when I said you were literally my angel." Ted replied, "I meant it. You mean literally the world to me."

"Ted?" Paige said. There seemed to be more kept inside.

"I've been thinking of this since last Christmas. Perhaps even longer than that." Ted replied, "About us."

"I thought about the future. About what lies ahead." Ted continued, "Come what may, grim predictions and Heartless be damned, I couldn't picture anyone else to share the rest of my days with but you."

Paige's eyes widened and she felt the breath come out of her as Ted continued, "I love you. Truly and forever."

Ted dropped to one knee and took Paige's right hand in both of his own. He pressed a small box into the palm of her hand and gently closed his fingers around it.

"Paige Halliwell. Will you marry me?" Ted asked.

"Yes. Oh my God..." Paige replied.

Hot tears appeared in Paige's eyes as Ted stood up. She leaned against the Canadian-Israeli, her slender arms around his neck, as she kissed him, fiercely and with all the passion she had.

"Open it." Ted said.

Paige opened the small box, revealing a delicate gold engagement ring. It gleamed with a diamond at the center and Paige could see the Charmed trifecta inside the band as well as a symbol she couldn't identify.

"Angelic symbols." Ted replied, "As I've said again and again, you are my angel."

Paige slid the ring onto her finger with one more sniffle. "Look in my eyes." Paige said.

Ted did, they were brown and almost liquid. There was a shine of tears unshed. "They're eyes that see only you in my future too." Paige replied as she was nestled in his arms, her own arms around him.

"Without your love I really wouldn't be standing in this room right now." Ted replied.

"Ted. Please don't talk like that. You don't know if you wouldn't have recovered from your past without me." Paige replied.

"Paige. I'm serious. Without you I would have put a round through my skull two years ago." Ted replied.

Little did the two of them know eyes were observing them. While he didn't particularly like Paige and could've cared less about Ted, Cole Turner felt a certain ache in his chest. He remembered his own proposal to Phoebe.

He watched as Phoebe came into the room. His heart stopped. She was still as beautiful as ever.

Oblivious to Cole's presence observing them, Phoebe had gone into the other room to try and check on her holiday edition for her column with her cell phone. She saw Paige and Ted in each others arms.

"Paige?" Phoebe said as her younger sister and Ted let go.

"Phoebe. I have the best news." Paige said.

Phoebe waited with baited breath when Paige continued, "I'm engaged."

"Oh my God! Congratulations Paige!" Phoebe said as she hugged her sister and noticed the engagement ring.

Phoebe turned to Ted and hugged him. "Welcome to the family, future brother in law."

Ted returned the hug, "I've been thinking of how to do this for months. How to tell Paige how much I love her and how I can only see her as the woman I spend my life with."

"So that's what you've been so tense about for months?" Paige asked.

Ted nodded after disentangling himself from Phoebe's welcome hug. He took Paige in his arms again.

"When are you announcing it to everyone?" Phoebe asked.

"We'll tell everyone at dinner." Ted replied.

"Your secret's safe with me." Phoebe replied.

---

A certain winged life-form overheard the whole exchange and flapped upstairs to Althea and Toad.

"So he did it?" Althea asked.

"Did what?" Toad asked.

"He asked Paige to marry him." Althea said.

"Awk! Special report! Special report! Brooding Israeli Soldier from Misfit Manor is Engaged to Paige Halliwell of the Halliwell Manor. AWK!"

"Polly. Under no circumstances are you blabbing this to anyone else." Althea replied.

"Awk...?" Polly began.

"Because if you do, I will pluck every feather from your carcass and then bake you in the oven while you're still alive." Althea said, "Got it?"

"I'll be good...awk." Polly replied.

---

"Auntie Paige that's a pretty ring. Was it a Christmas present?" Claudius said as Shipwreck carried him in his arms.

"As a matter of fact yes." Paige replied.

"Precocious little guy, isn't he?" Ted replied.

"Ah, spitting image of his old man." Shipwreck said and he whispered to Ted, "So you popped the question, eh?"

"I did." Ted replied and said, "Don't breathe one word of this till dinner. OK. Paige and I want to announce it to everyone then."

"I dunno Mountaineer. Giving her a big shiny rock means people are bound to notice." Shipwreck replied.

---

Lance and Kitty talked as they set up some more Christmas garlands over a doorway arch. They watched as Ted and Paige were helping with some of the Christmas lights with the more than occasional stolen kiss or touch.

"I don't know there seems to be something different about Paige and Ted right now." Kitty said from the base of the step ladder.

"What's different? They haven't seen each other for a while because Ted and the rest of us were on that Paradise Valley assignment." Lance replied.

"I don't know. It's so hard to describe. It's almost like Paige has this weird glow around her." Kitty replied.

"You think she's pregnant?" Lance asked as he mentally calculated from the last time Ted had taken a trip to San Francisco.

"Not that kind of glow!" Kitty said, "Another kind of glow. I don't know how to describe it."

"They really love each other." Lance remarked. Kitty could sense the sadness in Lance's voice as he climbed down from the ladder to go get some more tacks.

"Are you feeling alright Lance?" Kitty asked, concern etching her delicate features.

Lance regarded Kitty. She really looked lovely tonight. She'd recently cut her hair in a shorter style and she'd thought she'd overdone it. He insisted otherwise, saying it brought out her eyes earlier that evening. At Kitty's stunned silence he'd shut up. No use in pushing her away or bringing up the past.

Her clear blue eyes always seemed to have that shine to them and he noticed it was brought out more by her shorter style. She was wearing a nice light blue sweater that complimented those eyes and hugged her slender frame in all the right places. The black jeans she'd borrowed from Rogue actually fit her really well, Lance thought.

"Wow. I bet Pitor thinks you look great." Lance replied.

"I don't really care what Pitor thinks of my outfits, really." Kitty replied.

"What? I thought girls liked looking good for boyfriends." Lance replied.

"We do. But not really for ex-boyfriends." Kitty replied.

"Ex-boyfriends?" Lance replied.

"We stopped seeing each other almost a month ago." Kitty replied.

"I'm so sorry." Lance replied.

Kitty was speechless for a long while, "That's so sweet of you Lance."

"If I may ask, why did you guys break up?" Lance asked.

"Remember the Aftermath of Facility Kronos?" Kitty asked.

"Who could forget. Especially with my Guardian Whitelighter's insane three ghost buddies." Lance replied.

"I know." Kitty replied, a tear or two appearing in her eyes, "Anyway, Pitor started getting suspicious of me talking to you. Especially after we had that chat in the garden. He kept accusing me of two-timing with you, even after I assured him we were just friends and that you were going through rough times. He just kept getting so suspicious that he said we should just start seeing other people."

"Again I'm sorry." Lance replied and put a comforting arm around Kitty's shoulders.

Kitty smiled unexpectedly as she turned to face Lance and hugged him. Lance returned the embrace.

"Look. We're under mistletoe." Kitty said.

"I know. I just didn't think now would be a good time, I mean the breakup and..." Lance began before Kitty closed the distance and kissed him.

It was a light, innocent kiss across his lips that Lance instantly reciprocated. His tongue gently probed Kitty's soft lips and she opened her own mouth to let his tongue in. They kissed slowly, passionately for a long while before a want of air drove their mouths apart.

They still stood for a long while in each others arms as they watched Ted and Paige in each others' arms.

"Do you think that we'll be as happy as they are?" Lance asked.

"Of course I do." Kitty replied.

"You and I haven't exactly had the best track record." Lance replied.

"I know, but I want us to work this time." Kitty replied.

"So do I." Lance replied.

---

"So what do you think?" Ted asked.

"About what?" Paige asked.

"How does David sound for a son's name?" Ted replied.

"You've really been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?" Paige replied.

"I'm just curious." Ted replied.

"I think it's a fine name. But why David?" Paige replied.

"After one of the greatest Biblical kings of Israel." Ted replied, "It's a good, strong name."

"David's a good name for a boy. But what if this future baby happens to be a girl." Paige teased.

"I thought about Esther." Ted replied, "Named for a Jewish heroine who persuaded a king from persecuting her people."

"Esther sounds like an old seamstress though." Paige replied.

"Ruth then." Ted replied, "Named for one of the Judges of Israel, the rulers before the Kings of Israel."

"Ruth Halliwell-Griffin has a nice ring to it." Paige replied.

"Esther Halliwell-Griffin doesn't sound too bad either." Ted joked back.

Little did they realize that Bobby Drake had overhead them while walking by with a box of Christmas ornaments.

Roberto and Cannonball were working on the Christmas tree. Sunspot was in his powered up form as he put the star on top of the tree.

"Guys! You're not gonna believe this!" Bobby said.

"Believe what?" Cannonball said.

"Mountaineer got Paige pregnant!" Bobby said.

At this Roberto was so surprised he temporarily turned into his normal form and fell right on top of some very delicate ornaments that turned into some very painful shards when his ass landed on them.

"OWW!!!" Roberto shouted.

"Whoa! How do you know that?"Cannonball said.

"They were talking about it, dude." Bobby said, "They were talking about what they were gonna name it, what sex it was, all that shit!"

"Bobby, Paige isn't pregnant." Roberto said.

"Yeah she is. I overheard Kitty say she had this glow around her. That means she's pregnant." Bobby said.

"Whatever." Roberto said as he went into his Sunspot form to start putting ornaments on the tree. He started to put several round ornaments on the tree when he noticed one of them looked like a cherry bomb with a lit fuse.

"Wha-?" Roberto said.

BOOM!

Almost immediately Haunter appeared from under the tree's branches. "Haunt! Haunt! Haunt! Haunt! Haunt! Haunt! Haunt!"

"Not you again!" Bobby shouted. "DIE!"

Bobby launched a snowball at Haunter only to nail Roberto square in the chest.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING!" Roberto replied.

"Haunter Haunter!" Haunter laughed.

"AIEEE!" Cannonball screamed.

"What?" Bobby said. He didn't realize that Gastly was now on his head.

"Du-duh duh duh da...." Cannonball said.

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Gah. Ahahack. Grp. Erp. Eep." Cannonball said as Gastly was looking right at him.

"What's going on dude?" Bobby said.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!! HELP! GHOST!" Cannonball shouted as he backed up.

"Dude? What ghost?" Bobby said.

Cannonball backed up and found his hand closed around a poker from the fireplace. Someone handed it to him from behind.

"GET AWAY!" Cannonball shouted and swung the poker.

WHAM! The poker landed squarely on Bobby's head.

"Wuh. Wuh. Wuh." Bobby said as he staggered drunkenly a few paces and hit the ground.

"Gastly." Gastly said as it flew up to chase Sunspot around.

"Thanks for the poker dude I appreciate..." Cannonball said as he turned to thank whoever handed him the handy weapon. He turned just in time to see Gengar standing behind him.

"Gengar. Gengar. Gengar."

"Wh-Where did you come from?" Cannonball said.

"Gengar!" Gengar said and walloped Cannonball with a mallet.

"Urk." Cannonball said and fell.

Just then the shout of: "BRUMBY!!!!" could be heard.

---

"I just came to wish you a Merry Christmas." Brumby said as a very irate Scott Summers and Wolverine were heading right for him.

"Last time you came over here one of your insane ghosts hanged me from the satellite dish by my boxer shorts." Scott said.

"And another of them wrecked my motorcycle." Wolverine said.

"And two of them wrecked me car!" Scott shouted.

"I assure you, mate, they're not gonna cause trouble. I've got better control of them." Brumby replied, "And I'm gonna use them to help with the decorating."

"If your ornaments happen to be my boyfriend hanging from the satellite dish, no thank you." Jean said as the four of them walked into the living room where the Christmas Tree was being set up.

Bobby Drake was hanging inside a giant transparent stocking wearing only his boxer shorts with a ribbon tied around his neck in a bow.

"Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt." Haunter pointed.

"Gengar. Gengar. Gengar." Gengar said as it was tying an unconscious Cannonball to the couch with garlands.

"Gastly. Gastly." Gastly said as it was pouring itching powder into the stocking.

"See. It wasn't Scott hanging from anything." Brumby said.

"MEOW!!!!" Prometheus shouted as Gastly and Haunter were chasing it, and soaking it with Worchestcher Sauce.

Gengar popped up from the floorboards right in front of Prometheus and clonked the cat in the head with a folded newspaper.

"Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt." Haunter laughed.

"Brumby...." Leo said to the younger Whitelighter.

"Look, mate," Brumby replied, "I only brought them along to help with decorating."

"DASHIEL ROBERT PARR! QUIT SQUABBLING WITH PIETRO THIS INSTANT!" Elastigirl's shout echoed.

"PIETRO KNOCK IT OFF!" Wanda shouted and hexed her brother to the floor so he came to a dead halt.

"HA HA! BEAT YOU!" Dash shouted.

After some fast talking, Brumby managed to get Haunter, Gastly and Gengar in on the 'no mischief at the Manor' rule.

"Geng. Gar?" Gengar said, "Gengar." [You mean we can't light Pietro's underwear on fire?]

"Gaas." Gastly replied. [Or hoist Scott up the flagpole by his underpants?]

"Gengar." [That sucks. No fun.]

"Haunter. Haunter." Haunter laughed. [But Brumby didn't say anything about the enemies of the X-men, Misfits and Joes?]

"Gengar. Gengar. Gengar." Gengar replied [We haven't paid Senator Kelly a visit in a while...]

---

Senator Kelly said, "Christmas? Bah humbug. Those interns can work."

He hung up the phone just in time to see three ghostly figures. Gastly was waving a bell, Haunter was holding a large red Salvation Army pail, and Gengar was wearing a red hat and a white beard and Santa outfit.

"Gengar." Gengar said and whacked Senator Kelly in the head with a golf club. He promptly turned the Senator upside down and literally shook him down for spare change, the contents of his pockets and very likely a few drops of blood from his nose.

"OOF!" Senator Kelly said as they dropped him.

"I'll get you!" Senator Kelly said when he recovered. He attempted to dive after Haunter who had his wallet and change in the pail only to go right through Haunter and put his head through a wreath that Gastly was holding.

"Gengar! Gengar! Gengar! Gengar!" Gengar said and yanked on a rope connected to the wreath and hauled Senator Kelly up to the ceiling.

Gastly wrapped several Christmas lights with bulbs removed but with several wicked looking hooks and electrodes in their place.

After that was done the Senator found himself facing three ghosts again. Haunter was holding a sign that said.

**Those Interns Deserve a Break. **

Gengar pointed at each of the words and he held a little electric remote control in his other hand.

"No way! There's important campaign work to be do-YAAAGGGHHH!!!!!" Senator Kelly shouted as Gengar touched the remote control button and electrocuted Senator Kelly.

"Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt."

"If I do that, will you let me go?" Senator Kelly asked.

"Haunter. Haunter." Haunter nodded.

"Geng? Gar?" Gengar asked. [Are you kidding?]

Haunter said, "Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt." [Trust me.]

Haunter held up another sign saying: **Care to Reconsider? Or Shall We Try More Electroshock Therapy. **

"Gengar Gengar. Gengar." Gengar said. [I hope he says no. It's fun to electrocute this clown.]

"OK. OK. They get the rest of the night and can come in at noon tommorrow...ZOWWWWW!" Senator Kelly shouted.

"Gengar..." Gengar laughed.

"OK. They get all of tomorrow off!" Senator Kelly shouted and then Gengar reached for the remote, "Through to New Years! Through to New Years!"

"Haunter. Haunter." Haunter nodded. [Deal.]

"Gengar." Gengar replied [Rats]

The three ghosts took Senator Kelly outside and promptly proceeded to place him in a giant wool stocking with itching powder lined in the fabric in his underpants. They hanged him from the top of the Washington Monument.

"Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt. Haunt." Haunter said.

"Wait! You said you'd let me go!" Senator Kelly shouted.

"Gengar. Gengar. Gengar." [You didn't say where though.]

The three ghosts vanished.

---

The X-men, Misfits, Joes, Pirates, Charmed Ones, and Incredibles after much noise and ruckus all sat down to a delicious holiday dinner cooked by Roadblock, Elizabeth Turner, Piper, and Elastigirl.

As they ate Ted rapped on his wine glass with a fork, "Attention everyone. Attention."

The noise kept its tempo until Althea shouted and blew an air horn, "QUIET!!!!"

"What's going on Althea?" Elizabeth asked.

"Ted had the announcement. Not me. He has the floor." Althea said.

Paige lightly squeezed Ted's hand as he cleared his throat. "Everyone. I have an announcement to make."

"What is this word you have to pass, that is in the middle of our repast?" Roadblock asked.

"I asked a question tonight, an important question of the woman I love." Ted began, "I asked Paige Halliwell if she would marry me and she said yes."

Paige blushed as she stood alongside him, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

Piper was the first to speak, "Ted, let me just say despite the insanity you bring to the family every so often I welcome you as a future brother in law. You really have made a difference in my sister's life and I thank you for that."

"Piper. I should thank you." Ted replied, "Thanks for being tolerant of me and Paige. She made a great difference in my own as well: she just may have saved my life."

At this murmurs came around the table.

"What's he talking about?" Rahne asked.

Logan looked at his daughter with a knowing look, "He's gone through a lot fighting in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank with the Israeli MAGAV."

"I hate to darken your Christmas but this is something I really want to say to everyone: Had it not been for this amazing, beautiful, compassionate woman beside me I very well would have taken my own life." Ted replied, "Most of you are aware that I was a member of the Israeli Unit YAMAS and that I fought in the Territories for almost eight of the ten years I was in the MAGAV. What some of you might not know was that I carried out numerous secret assassination assignments at the behest of the Shin Bet."

Everyone was silent for a moment before Roadblock spoke, "Ted when I recruited you for this unit I said we take care of our own. You didn't have to suffer your past all alone."

Paige spoke next, putting her arms around him, "Ted, I agree with Roadblock. I'm flattered that you see me as a guardian angel and that just makes me love you all the more."

Lance added some words in, "I have an announcement of my own."

Kitty squeezed his hand as he stood up, "Kitty and I are officially an item again."

"Wow this is Christmas is just full of surprises." Rogue remarked.

"Congratulations Kitty." Althea began, "I just ask that you take care of Lance."

"I know more than anyone that Lance has had a rough past." Kitty said.

"Kitty you haven't always had the best track record when it's come to Lance." Spyder replied, "You've broken his heart on at least one occasion."

"Lance, as your Guardian Whitelighter I support you. Kitty. I just want to say you hold the heart of the Keyblade Wielder in your hands." Brumby replied.

"I'll take good care of it." Kitty said as she stood and tenderly wrapped her arms around Lance.

Toad rapped on his own glass with a fork, "I have an announcement. Well actually more of a question of someone at this table."

Toad reached into a pocket, "Everyone knows Althea and I have been an item for two years now."

"We know that Toad." Bobby replied.

Toad reached into his pocket at the same time Polly the Parrot flew across the room carrying a banner that read: **Althea. Marry Me? Toad.**

Toad dropped to one knee and opened the box at Althea's side.

"Oh My God. Yes Toad, I'll marry you." Althea said.

"Welcome to the family Toad." Shipwreck said as he raised his glass high into the air.

"Shipwreck that better not be rum. Otherwise I hate to be rude on Christmas chum." Roadblock said.

"We Three Kings of Orient are, hic, smoking on a rubber cigar. Hic. It was loaded. Hic. It exploded now we don't know where we are..." Polly sang as he flapped around drunkenly, dropping the banner.

He landed on Shipwreck's shoulder and said, "Awk! Polly want some rum. Polly want some rum."

"Shipwreck..." Roadblock said.

"Awk! Sands has rum too! Sands has rum too!" Polly squaked.

"Not anymore you stool pigeon, considering you drank mine!" Sands shouted back.

Just then the a news broadcast sounded on the TV. "In others news today several members of the Friends of Humanity apparently were forced to walk the plank into a tank of electric eels at the Bayville Aquarium by what appeared to be 18th Century Pirates..."

The video showed Jack Sparrow and the Pirates minus Will Turner, Elizabeth Turner, and Alan Breck.

"AR HA HA HAR! Walk the plank there Duncan Matthews!!! HA HA HA HA HAR!!" Mr. Gibbs shouted as he poked Duncan in the butt with a sword.

Duncan promptly fell into the tank of electric eels and was shocked so badly his skeleton started showing. The Pirates all laughed and shook their cutlasses and fired pistols into the air.

"Great. Two marriage proposals, three insane ghosts and now the Pirates running amock. What more could I ask for for Christmas." Beast commented.

---

END. Merry Christmas to all XMJ fans and especially to the creator of the Misfitverse: Red Witch. May the Holidays bring plenty of cheer and inspiration to our founder.


End file.
